Saturday, January 19, 2008

Stop Being So Negative...

that's what everyone tells me and sure I admit, I can be quite depressing but it's hard to stay positive when so many things are going wrong almost on daily basis. Add that with loss of sleep and the difficulties increase. But still I go on. What other choice do I have?

The only ray of light, however, are those around me that care about me, like my family. The amount of understanding they have shown and the support they have given, both financial and emotional, has been incredible. If it weren't for them, surely I would be living in van down by the river.

I always thought I would be an independent man and not have to rely on anyone else but lately that seems like all I do. It is a blow to my ego to know that I am damn near 40 years old and still can't take of myself and my immediate family. I mean I used to take care of myself but my oh my how things have changed in the last three years. Why can't I just have a regular mid-life crisis like everyone else?

Despite all this, I do accept total responsibility for my present situation. I blame no one else. No one pushed me into the hole I am in now. I can't blame others for my problems because I am the one that let myself be led by others. This is the price I have paid for not making my own decisions.

So here I am now...trying to find positive solutions and move forward. We'll soon find out what happens next...

- the Guero

No comments: