My Awkward Photo Op With Anthony Bourdain

Yesterday -before work - I went to Book Passage in the Ferry Building to have Anthony Bourdain sign my copy of his new book, "Medium Raw: A Bloody Valentine to the World of Food and the People Who Cook."

I'm a big fan of course. I love to watch his TV program "No Reservations" with my son who digs it almost as much as I do. It's perhaps not the best program for kids but believe it or not, I think my son learns a lot from it. His mind is opened up to other countries, cultures and their food. My son is also adventurous with food. He may not like everything but is usually willing to try something new, which I find to be a very appealing attitude. I think the majority of people I get on with the best are also those who love and appreciate different kinds of food and aren't afraid of pushing their culinary boundaries.

Despite the "educational" aspects I think my son also loves all the cursing. Even though it's bleeped out, he gets a huge kick out of it in addition to Bourdain's other humorous observations. My son is well aware that Bourdain is a bad man and he likes him all the more for it. I wanted to bring my son along but he was in school.

I waited outside in long queue while I baked in the sun until it was my turn. I had him sign the book to my son and myself and then took a photo. Bourdain was hopped up on Red Bull and looked slightly overwhelmed, though mostly content. I really didn't say anything to him besides "thank you" as I had to assist the kind woman taking photos with the zoom feature on my camera. She got it figured out just in time to take this awkward looking snap.

And faster than Bourdain slides on the ice in the opening sequence of his program, I was back in the Ferry Building wondering if I should buy a six dollar Affogato with Humphry Slocombe Ice Cream at Blue Bottle Coffee.

-güero

COP A FEELING: NUÑO IN PRINT FORM

Yes! I've finally been recognized and will be put in print! That's right, don't ask me why but artists Jonathan Harris and Sep Kanvar have included me in their new book entitled "We Feel Fine: An Almanac of Human Emotion" from Simon & Schuster which will be released in December of this year. Alright, perhaps I'm overstating my contribution as it is very small if not insignificant - possibly just a photo and/or a snippet from this blog - but you know me, I'll take recognition wherever I can get it!

Harris and Kanvar created a project entitled We Feel Fine, which uses elements of computer science, anthropology, visual arts and storytelling to explore human feelings. They essentially created a computational system that records people's feelings all over the world by searching for them via weblogs, twitters, etc. Anyway, they actually used my "feelings" from my blog post a few years ago for their online project and now they are using a different post for their print version. They informed me in their e-mail that I would be on the page for Election Day 2008, which I suppose is a pretty good date to be on.

In case you are wondering: no, I'm not getting paid jack-didley from this deal but they did say, I could get a free copy of the book and that I'm welcomed to attend their Launch party in New York, but under the present circumstances, it's not bloody likely that I will make it.

If you liked to check out the We Feel Fine website, you can go here and play around with it. Well what can I say? I guess I "feel" honored. Hmmm...let's see if that feeling makes it the cut!

BRUNCH WITH THE BUDDHA

This past Sunday turned out to be an interesting day. Woke up, late as hell. I was supposed to meet a friend as she was going to let me tag along with her to visit her Thai Buddhist temple in Berkeley. It was a beautiful warm day and aside from the admonishment I received for not being punctual, we were off to a pretty good start. Met up at the Civic Center in The City and jumped on to BART(for what I thought was going to be my last BART ride due the impending strike an all). My friend, who's an ace cook, stayed up all Saturday night preparing a feast especially for the monks at the temple. She needs good karma and so do I. So between her cooking it and me schlepping it, hopefully we'll scrape up enough good merit to get us though these dog-shit days of health care woes, never-ending Middle-East wars, and a tits-up economy.

(Wat Mongkolratanaram - Thai Buddhist Temple)

The Temple has been in Berkeley for about 25-odd years and every Sunday they host a huge Thai brunch where you can get a hefty plate of tasty Thai food for very little and sit and eat in a sunny court yard. It's kind of like a weekly church spaghetti feed in which the proceeds help keep the temple running. It's only open for three hours between 10 am and 1 pm. I couldn't believe the size of the crowd and I was told that this was a slow day. I also learned from a temple member that they used to have longer hours but a few years back, but when the neighborhood started gentrifying a few years ago, the neighbors started bitching. This in my opinion is tantamount to moving next to an airport and complaining about noisy jets! But hey, that's gentrification, even in the People's Republic of Berkeley! That is what happens when croc-wearing, stroller-pushing yoga moms move in and start organizing. By the way - I have nothing against yoga, moms, crocs, or strollers. Oh bloody f-ng hell, I think you get the point already.

Since I came with my friend, I didn't actually eat the food from the brunch as I was given the honor of eating from the pot luck brought by the regular temple members. Despite feeling like a like fish out of water, the Thai people were all nice and treated me warmly. I sat on the floor with them and dug in to the colorful looking, home cooked fare: spicy beef stews, yellow curry chicken, Thai omelets and a bunch of other good tasting dishes. Later, my friend took me into the small prayer room where she taught some young children and myself how to make an offering and a prayer. I'm not a big believer in the supernatural and that sort of thing but I went along for the experience (kind of like sitting and standing and kneeling and standing again at a Catholic mass; you just follow everyone else and hope to baby Jesus and all the chubby little angels that you aren't the last one moving!). I made my prayer for world peace but I also added a special rider prayer that I can get my samsaric ass, along with my family, back to Los Angeles as soon as f-ng possible.

Afterward, I shook a can of sticks until one fell out. Using the corresponding number from the stick, I matched it to my reading. I have to admit that what it said about me was frighteningly accurate and my friend, who is all too familiar with my personality flaws, had a right good laugh. So, after feeling slightly clowned by the buddha, I gave my offering in form of some good-ol' American greenbacks with the hope that some of my karma would be transformed, or at the very least, that the monks could use the money to buy some cool new shit at Costco. But that, however, was not the end of the journey.

ANOTHER HIATUS, ANOTHER RETURN...

It's been awhile since I spent any time blogging but I'm back again. Sometimes you just need to sit back and let life happen for a while. And while I haven't been sitting back much, a lot of life has been happening.

A few days ago, I returned from a little jaunt down to Southern California. It was an extremely rushed but fulfilling trip. My wife, son and I tried to catch

up with as much friends and family as possible and sadly , as to be expected, we were not able to meet up with everyone. I did however get to finally experience the Mexican/Korean fusion at the Kogi Truck (Twice- once next 4100 on Sunset in Silverlake and second, in downtown the following night - underneath the skyscrapers with dotted lights along with warm weather and traditional Chinese music playing from an open-air concert nearby- what a fantastic evening!).

In San Diego, We "stalked" a former employee of ours to new her job at a fine and very busy Mexican restaurant in Old Town where I had some amazing shrimp (ranchero style). It turned out to be a profound moment for me to see her again, as I had to abruptly close the business and leave San Diego last year and I was unable to say goodbye as properly as I should have. But seeing her again and knowing that she had accomplished so much since we last saw each other, made my eyes well up. This was a young woman who worked from day one all the way though the closure of the store - the first employee I hired who turned out to be a great manager and a trusted friend. Now it's well known that I'm a pretty cold and unsentimental bastard but I found it difficult to hold the emotion back. It took just that one moment for all three years to come back and smack me right solid in the gob. And whenever I get a little sad, I just turn to food which in this case included dipping the most savory homemade flour tortillas into the ranchero sauce. Hey, we all have to find ways to cope, right?

The following night also proved to be a great meal as some of my old friends, some family and new friends met up for some hardcore Korean BBQ in at the medieval-looking Chapman Plaza in LA's Korea town. The meat just kept on coming and coming: brisket, kalbi (Short Rib), teji kogi (Spicy Pork), and pork belly (uncured Korean bacon)! Along with all the banchan (side dishes) and beer, we all had a great time. So much so that after the feast, we moved the party over to the Cafe across the plaza.

Food, friends, and family - the three F's - that was essentially the theme of our return visit to Southern California and while we were exhausted, we enjoyed every bit of it. Of course no visit to Los Angeles would be complete without being pulled over by LAPD - and even that turned out to be pretty cool.

WHAT A NIGHT!...WAITING FOR THE EWOKS!

I went to class downtown last night and it was indeed hard to pay attention. I kept looking at the nytimes web site on my Blackberry. I couldn't believe that Obama won so early. Right before we returned from our break, CNN called the winner and we could all hear the horns and people screaming. I couldn't wait to leave.

As I walked to the BART station, my heart raced, my jaw ached, and my spine tingled. I felt like I was high on stimulants (not that I uh...have ever had any experience with that) I felt such emotion...positive feelings...and if you must know, I'm a pretty negative bastard. But FINALLY, FINALLY there was something to feel good about.

Not only are Cheney and Bush leaving the White House, but at last we have a leader that is well how should I say...some one who is an ACTUAL leader! Barack Obama is an intelligent, positive, and yes, a conservative thinker who has shown he can remain steady and serious in the face of adversity and criticism. He survived the old girl Hilliary and old man McCain along with his Bush campaign team. This swift victory was a mandate. A mandate that should tell all the Republicans that if they want to lead this country again, they ought to shit-can these cartoon character candidates who act like the folks "next door." If I want to borrow milk or sugar I will go to the folks next door but if I want some one to take charge of this country, then I want the best and the brightest. This country is facing its greatest economic downturn in over 70 years: I don't think a "breath of fresh air" is going to be able put out that burning house.

Yes I was excited last night. I stopped at the Napper Tandy pub on the way home and threw down two pints of Guinness. I didn't know anyone there and I didn't say much but I just drank, sank in the festive atmosphere while I was texting and calling friends. One drunk guy about my age stood next to me and slurred, "Do you really think this a historic moment..hah?". "Hell Yes!" I told him,"Most definately!" then I said, "I feel like the rebels just blew up the goddamned Deathstar and that I'm waiting for the fucking Ewoks and fireworks!"

He hiccupped and turned to his annoyed wife. "Did you just hear this guy?" he pointed to me and lurched forward, "he said the Ewoks....just blew up the...ahhh....Deathstar....ah....". He then left and stumbled off to the restroom.

I found a seat at the bar and watched young Mission hipsters dancing, kissing and laughing underneath the sounds of Abba's "Take A Chance On Me" blasting from the juke box; a muted Wolf Blitzer pointing to ridiculous graphs and charts on the mounted TVs. It was truly a surreal moment: I never thought I would enjoy listening to fucking Abba! But more importantly, I also thought how fucking awesome it was that America had decide to take its chance with Barack Obama. Let's go!!!


¡Sí se puede!

THE GAME IS OVER BUT THE CLOCK JUST KEEPS ON TICKING...

happy birthday...happy birthday...happy birthday...



Concrete Blonde - Happy Birthday (1989)

PARALEGAL ALIEN

Since being back in The City, the güero has had to chart a new course in life. I've tried being all the things I wanted to be since I was a güerito but none panned out for one reason or another. I attempted to make a new life in LA but after missing the exit and making a few detours, I ended up taking the midnight u-haul back up to San Francisco.

So what does one do when they're falling on forty years of age and have absolutely zero prospects? One goes back to school of course, and that's just what I have done: I've decided that perhaps developing a marketable skill is probably a prudent move. After a little desktop research, the paralegal field had an appeal to me for various reasons: I like doing research, I enjoy writing and this nation's laws have always interested me. So what the hell...let's give it a go. At this point my interest is in immigration law. I want to have a career that produces some sort of social benefit, as well as an income. Assisting folks to reside here legally, in this great nation, in order to make a better life, to me, is an o.k. thing to do. Let's face it: I need all the good karma I can get. My last gig was selling lead painted trinkets made by Chinese laborers probably for some paltry wage. Or who knows, maybe I'll just end up working at some dodgy personal injury firm that handles slip and trip cases all day long. Who knows?

So here I am back right were I started at CCSF, the junior college that I started attending some 20-odd years ago. It's so surreal to be back. Walking through the campus, brings back a myriad of memories and it's almost as if it's 1990 again, like the last 18 years never happened. Sure there are some new buildings but it still feels and smells the same. This, of course, is an illusion that's disturbingly shattered whenever I walk into a campus restroom and happen upon a mirror. I don't see that skinny awkward kid anymore; instead it's a rather frightening, but still awkward, middle-aged man. I've gained weight, gone gray and lost most of my hair and my nerve: a stranger in a strangely familiar land.

But so far so good, I like my classes and I'm impressed with the City College Paralegal Department thus far. The instructors are friendly and knowledgeable and my fellow students have been great. I'm feeling pretty good about this, though I still choose to remain cautiously optimistic...

PERSONALLY SERVING YOU SINCE 1989...

Today, while moving boxes about in my old man's garage , I found my old smock and tie from Safeway from back in the day. There it was, hung on the wall pretty much exactly where I left back in late November of 1994. A box cutter, a blue Bic pen, and a pack of matches were still in the pocket. A few days after that, I drove to LA and now... here I am...

BONEHEAD MOVES...

These last few days have been rough. While at the beach, I forgot I had on my glasses and a fucking tidal wave( yes I am exaggerating) came up behind me and knocked them off in the water! My specs were instantly lost at sea. If you know me, you know I am as blind as shit. My nearsightedness and astigmatisms make the world look like a bad impressionist painting. I can't do much without my vision. I can't use the computer, drive, watch TV, cook, or really do anything. The next day I went and ordered some new glasses...but it's going to be few days before I get them. I don't know why they say "same day lenses"...because that's only if you want a crap pair of glasses.

Now, I just have one pair of contact lenses they gave me. Cost to replace glasses:$500. Yeah...and that was with the lenses being 50 percent off. Ridiculous. I might as well have waited and went to Costco. It's a lot to pay when you have no job and no income.
And then...oh god....and then... it's not easy for me but...but I had to cancel my directv. Oh how it kills me. No more TiVO! Oh...the pain...the pain...

IT ALL WORKED OUT...

Today things went OK. One down and one to go. Celebrated with a little carne asada bbq at home.

TODAY IS A BIG DEAL...

Today is a scary day for the güero. Don't want to say to say more than that. I'll be back later today...I hope.

-güero

TRANSITIONAL LIVING...

I haven't been blogging much lately for varied reasons: been packing, moving and an internet connection that borders on being shitty or just plain fucked up. I'm lucky if I can use for it for 6 hours out of the day. Once connected, I have about 5 minutes to send emails, etc before it disconnects yet again. It seems it to get worse during the hotter weather. I've called AT&T so many times in the last three years, I've given up.

Presently, I'm back in San Francisco dropping off some of our stuff before we actually move up here and also I need to handle some other things like trying to get my son in the right school.

I still plan to blog despite the fact that no one reads this dribble. It's just for me really, let's face it. It's a way to vent, a way to relieve stress and kill time. It's sort of like doing a sudoku or crossword puzzle except I take no pleasure in those things.

I don't even know where to begin. It's so frustrating: 39 years old and living off of my parents. Yeah..it's demoralising. fo sho...fo sho...

BACK ON THE BLOCK...NOT YET

IMG_0535.JPG, originally uploaded by güero.

We're not quite back yet but will be soon. There's so much to do, as we're still crawling out from the wreckage of the past four years. I'm really going to miss Southern California. I'm not ready to leave a but at this point there are no other options. It's really a taking a huge step backwards from the suburban bliss and peacefulness of beautiful Poway, California. Poway is great place for families and great place to live.

I was born and raised in the Mission District and proud of it actually, but let's face it: It's dirty and dangerous. It's wonderful now-a-days for the young artsy, techy and tattooed hipsters who want to feel urban, but it's a right frightful place for children and the San Francisco Unified School District?...Well, I don't even need to go there. Most residents in San Francisco seem to care more about dogs than children.

I also worry about my own self-control as I have many friends in the City and there are bars everywhere and many are in convenient stumbling distance, which means the thought of having to drive isn't an impediment. Mis primas, Dina and Shelli are already plotting my demise with a "welcome back" night for me at the local dive, the Jay n' Bee. Oh no....

COSAS QE ME HACEN FELIZ: TACOS

Yes. I know that lately I have been worse than Debbie Downer at a Holocaust film festival but it's hard man! It's hard! But in these trying times we have to find the things, big or small, that make us happy. For me, that means tacos. The best tacos come from the street vendors in TJ but it's not always convenient to make a skirmish across the border, so you just gotta get them where you can.

Today, that was at this taqueria in a tiny nondescript shopping center in Anaheim that I discovered accidentally about a year ago. Anytime that I'm driving up or down the 5, to or fro LA, I always find an excuse to drift off the Lincoln Ave. Exit to Tacos El Rey and have some tacos, burrito or a sope. When you are tired, beat-down and hungry, this plate of tacos looks like an arrangement of beautiful flowers. The magnificent yet simple combination of scents : tortillas, onions, cilantro, chile and grilled carne overwhelms me with comfort and pleasure. Ahhhhh Tacos. They make me happy!

JUST LIKE THAT...

Today, We went to see an attorney in downtown San Diego. This particular attorney specializes in business and that other dreaded b-word, bankruptcy. So this guy is a friend and attorney of an acquaintance of ours, who also happens to a business owner.

Supposedly, this was going to be a "free" consultation and I was little wary of that but on we went. I think we were there for a little over an hour. During this time, we didn't learn anything new and/or insightful. In fact, as I sat there, I just started feeling more angry, hopeless and sad. For over an hour, this attorney just summarized and reiterated how fucked we are, albeit in a more legalistic, methodical and formalized fashion, admitting he had no "magic-bullet" solutions.

I couldn't wait to get the fuck out of there and finally, at what amounted to be quite an awkward conclusion - I had just finished telling him that we didn't have any money to pay our rent and out bank loan, he then asks for 375 fucking dollars!! I looked at my wife. What the hell had just happened? So there we were:I didn't bring any checks so we handed over the cash we just picked up from the store. That, was a almost a whole day's earnings...gone...just like that... for what? I don't need to pay some one 375 dollars to tell me that we're floating in the toilet and about to be flushed. I ALREADY KNOW!!

So now here I am. On top of being pitifully despondent, I'm now seething with an almost uncontrollable rage...goddamnit!!!

HELP ME JESUS! HELP ME OPRAH!

So this week, while Bear Stearns is in the process of "NOT" being bailed out by the government, I am presented with two equally fantastic choices: Behind Curtain number One : I can pay the rent for my house by Tuesday or face eviction (I've already received my 3 day notice) OR choose what's behind Curtain number 2: Pay the Bank for a past due amount and default on the loan. We all need a roof over our heads, especially when you have a small child, so you can guess which Curtain I will choose.

The last four years have been quite a learning experience for me. The number one lesson: Don't double-down with everything you have to go into a business partnership with a relative.

I have a lot of family that are praying for me but unless,Jesus, himself, can return to Earth yet again, make a quick pit stop in Mission Valley, and cut me a check from His Holiness' bank account for the sum of $520 grand, then I'm afraid it's all in vain.

In addition to all the prayers and well wishes, my sister-in-law (to whom I owe much thanks for supporting us), sent an e-mail to Oprah to help us out (seriously) but I don't know if she's quite as powerful as Jesus, but she certainly seems close.

Have a great weekend folks! And by they way, doesn't that Oprah look fabulous!

MY SON...CRAZY EIGHTS

This last Monday, on March 31, my son, Alec, turned eight years old. Time has gone by so quickly and continues to do so at an accelerated rate. In another eight years, he'll be driving!! I will never forget holding him in the delivery room and wondering what kind of man he will turn out to be and every year and every day, more of this man-to-be is revealed to me. It hasn't always been easy but he is an affectionate, inquisitive fellow who likes the White Stripes, The Ramones and playing soccer. He's a good boy who likes to drive his parents crazy. Happy Birthday Dude!

Eighties....I'm livin' in the Eighties...

Yes...I lived through the 80s and I loved every awkward, pimple-covered face moment. Well, I really didn't, but this was the Guero in 1986. Punk Rock was already dead and I was a straight-out poseur but I was just about to graduate after 12 years of Catholic education so I just didn't give a flying fuck anymore. I liked Jimi Hendrix, The Stones, The Beatles (John Lennon was my fucking hero)and Bob Marley but I hated the hippie, especially those old peace and love burn-outs who stunk up and littered the the Haight and Golden Gate Park 20 years after their failed scene was over. I was a real piece of shit. I had a bad attitude back then and I was an angry, angry young man but hey...I'm all better now!

The leather jacket was borrowed from my friend Gene who was probably too busy cruising the the EL or getting royally shit-faced and moshing it up while watching his favorite local band, Metallica or some other speed-metal maniac band.

Notice the ripped t-shirt that I bought on Haight Street. It's an R. Crumb reproduction of his famous Tommy the Toilet sign. I was soooo counter-culture dude.

Funny because less then a year after this, under the influence of my talented friend Matt, I started getting into Hip-Hop. They wouldn't even play rap on the radio back then, except late at night or only on local station KPOO. Eric B and Rakim, LL Cool J, EPMD, Public Enemy, Beastie Boys and too many others to mention. The Golden Age of Hip-Hop had arrived just in time....the 80s were starting to get boring.

George Bailey and the Insect In My Camera

So for a few days there was a water bug that had somehow found it's way into one my security camera domes. It was trapped there. It was was trying desperately to crawl out but to no avail. My girls, who could not have cared less for the unlucky creature, just left it there.

In the meantime, I have been taking calls and receiving emails from various groups that I owe money to: the bank, the mall, vendors and collection departments. It's the end of the year for me, the last chance to make some money but now I have to face the fact that it is not going to happen. Poor sales from November did not allow me to purchase needed for this month as well as paying some of the loans and other debt. Also, the public schools did not get out until yesterday, the Friday before Christmas. Last year, the schools broke the week before, so it was busy the week before Christmas last year. Then you have the higher price of gas and customers just just spending less in general. I don't give a shit what George Bush and others are saying that the economy is just fine because that does not reflect what's going on the ground.

As a kid I used to watch Jimmy Stewart in Frank Capra's Holiday Classic, "It's a Wonderful Life". I used to love that movie and I had a thing for Donna Reed. And now, here at I am, at the age of 39 and now I feel like Jimmy Stewart's George' Bailey. That "silly old fool" Uncle Billy has screwed the pooch by losing the money and now George is royally ass-fucked at Christmas time. I feel for you George because so am I. Time and money are running out, my phone and email inbox are blowing up with people demanding payments. It's had to take sometimes and when I see my peers, who's hard work has paid off, and they are enjoying their rewards, it only makes me feel worse because I see no silver lining or resolution to my problems. But unlike George, I don't have Clarence, the angel, or good townsfolk to save me from from my troubles. It's Christmas today, so there is some respite but soon more calls and bad news will come and I will to try to deal with it somehow.

Anyway, about the damn bug...so I am sitting at my desk in the back room watching the cameras and I see the bug struggling, kicking it's many legs, then stopping to rest , then giving it another and then repeating the process. This poor bastard bug had been doing this for the two days I wasn't here. I identified myself with the poor creature and I couldn't understand why the girls wouldn't just take it out and set it free, so that's exactly what I did. I took the latter, climbed up to the camera, and took off the dome and there it was...the tiny waterbug that looked liked a monster on the camera, lying in it's own waste...at least that's what I thought it was. I then walked outside the store and dumped it into the planter. What a relief it must have been...now I can only imagine...

Merry Christmas.
the Guero

The End of November...

So today is the last day of November and the year is pretty much over and the struggle goes on with trying to keep the businesses alive. Yesterday I had a meeting in LA with my banker (lender). It was a meeting I was sort of dreading but it actually turned out to be somewhat of a relief. He, has a pretty good idea about what I am going through and basically told me not to stress out too much over what is going on and that I should first be concerned about my health and family. We went on to talk about other stuff like our family, the economy, and the real estate bust.

He said that people don't fully appreciate how much the world has changed in the last three months. He added that the real estate market has still not bottomed out as the banks are currently taking possession of properties and still trying to unload them at prices that are still inflated, and that lenders don't want to approve loans for them. Eventually the banks with have to unload the properties at a bigger discount, that lenders will feel comfortable with. This could take about 9 to 12 months. So if you are looking to buy perhaps you should wait until then.

More importantly I left the bank with a little relief that he understood my plight and was willing to work with me. I was very, very grateful.