THE 48: FOUR "F*CKS" & A "F*GGOT" IN FIVE MINUTES

No, that title is not just an exercise in shameless alliteration, it's just another small dose of wretched reality aboard the 48 Quintara yesterday afternoon.

So the Güero is on Mission St, on his home way from running an errand when he(I)decide to get a library card at the Mission Branch Library. I try to glom a copy of Chuck Palahniuk's "Choke", but shit-on-a-stick...it's already been checked out and is already on hold. I check nextmuni.com on my beat-up Blackberry and it looks like I've got about two minutes before the 48 arrives. Cool!

I get to the bus and hop on after a latina mom and her young hijos with Happy-Meal Kung Fu pandas. The bus driver is a perky young black woman and greets everyone. But no sooner after I leave her presence, there are two passengers going at it...just verbally abusing each other from across the aisles. First the Old Pink Lady, she's white and as stated, old. She's wearing big glasses, faded pink cap and equally faded pink track suit. A big-ass tote bag sits on her lap and she's got one of those metal walking canes with the four prongs on the end. She's says to the other passenger,"...you should watch out for my cane!"

Now, the other passenger..he's quite a sight...and his companion? Where do I even begin?...Joel and Ethan Cohen could not have created such exaggerated characters. He's a big white guy in his his 50's wearing a 49er cap, wrap-around sunglasses and sporting a thick Mike Ditka mustache. He's got to be a tourist. His companion...she's the same age, maybe older. She looks like Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman...if Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman were dragged by a Ford pick-up truck for six blocks. Anyway, she's wearing this blood-red Strawberry Shortcake type hat, a patch skirt and these funky striped socks with open toe sandals. OK...you've got the picture. So he hollers back," I guess that's just typical of you FUCKING CITY PEOPLE!!!!" Oh no he DITN'T! Oh yes...he did.

The perky black bus driver chimes in politely, "Now. now. You two...that's enough...settle down!"

But it's too late, the old pink broad is REALLY pissed off, " So that's how it is, is it? Then why don't you just go the FUCK back to wherever the hell you came from. FUCKING Asshole!"

The driver pleads with them again. There are kids everywhere on the bus. Some people are laughing, including the neo-hippies, surprisingly, in the front who have kids. One of them, the infant, is sucking happily on his hippy mother's teet. Hey the Güero's got no problem with that, he's liberal minded.

So the man relents and mutters something to Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman. The old pink lady quietly pulls out and opens up a pulp romance novel that she probably bought at the Salvation Army for a quarter. Now, I have no idea what precipitated that vitriolic exchange but all seemed to be well again... until we got to South Van Ness.

Through the window, I see two SFPD beat cops talking to some punky latin teenager. The bus stops, the kid gets on board and says rather loudly, regarding one of officers,"FUCKING FAGGOT"!

The neo-hippies start laughing hysterically again. I'm thinking to myself...do people not have any qualms about cursing like a sailor in the presence of others, who you don't know. One thing the Güero has always said is, "know your audience!" Call me old school, but what happened to the days when people looked over their shoulder or whispered before offering up an offensive or racist comment. Now don't get me wrong I'm not condoning racism, or sexual orientation-ism. If you are offended however, that means I failed in trying to be cleverly ironic and satirical. For that, I apologize. If you understood and are still perturbed, then you are a humorless half-wit who should lighten up or go read someone else's posts. The question I ask, however, is why do people just talk out loud and say anything they feel like as if they are in their living room or mom's house? Has freedom of speech become an excuse for people to showcase their ignorance and hostility for ALL to experience?

My fellow neo-hippies passengers seemed to take it in stride but I didn't. Thankfully, the Güero was goin' solo and didn't have his son with him on this particular occasion but I would hate for him to have experience the careless and unrepentant ugliness on display. I'm not naive, I was born and raised in the Mission after all and I have witnessed more crude and horrendous acts committed by frightening youths aboard the 9 San Bruno. But why has that become ok?
Perhaps, I just expect too much as I have been living far too comfortably the quiet suburbs of San Diego.

These days, I'm not in the Mission by choice. It's more like the lesser of choices but I'm beginning think I may have, yet again, chosen the wrong path. I mean how I can raise my son in this place? All the wi-fi cafes, hip restaurants, and culture can't hide the all the litter that blows freely though the streets like tumbleweeds, nor do they belie the fact that the Mission is still a dangerous place where too many folks have no respect for themselves or one another.

But I'm tryin' hard Ringo, I'm trying real hard to come to terms with my environment, to find and focus on the things that make me feel hopeful about the human condition, my own personal situation and about my son growing up in the midst of urban cruelty and sidewalks that reek of urine. Until then, the Güero just has to suck it up and watch his back here in Tom Ammiano's Mission district...maybe I'll just go get a quesadilla suiza at El Farolito. Now that makes me happy!

-the Güero, 7/29/2008

THE NUÑO MEAT MARKET:PARA LLEVAR!

Because I can't waste enough time, I decided to start another blog. It's primarily for me to post from my mobile phone. If you find yourself mildly interested, please feel free to check it out and/or subscribe to NUÑO 2 GO!

"B" AS IN "DAVID"

Yesterday, my wife and I were at the Social Security Office on 22nd and Valencia getting replacement cards. While waiting, there was an Asian woman (Chinese, I think) working there who was calling off numbers for service tickets, similar to the system they now have at the DMV. She was calling off "B393...B393..". This old Mexican guy sitting next to me, shows me his ticket that's marked with D393 and asks me,"Did she say B or D?". I said I didn't know but that he should go up there anyway since no one else is. So he saunters up to the window and she took care of him. After that, she starts calling out "B"396....B as in David!" Am I going crazy?

Later, this other cat sits next to me and we joke about the woman's pronunciation skills. He was in his early thirties and looked like some sort of South American futbol-playing hipster( I really have to find new word for 'hipster'). He tells me his name is Hamid and that he's from Afghanistan and that he's been here in the US for six months. He said he worked for the UN and then the US Army. He said that just seven months ago he was in Kandahar riding in a group of cars when the car behind his was stopped by Al Queda/Taliban fighters. The Afghans passengers inside were taken out and shot while the Americans passengers were spared. Apparently, he said, the Taliban doesn't dig on sell-outs. After that, he told me he had been holed up in his apartment for weeks while receiving death threats.

Luckily, he had a visa that he acquired while he was an engaged to an American women. She jilted him in the mean time and married some one else, but the visa was still valid and that's all that was important, so he hopped a plane and made his way to the US. He told me he has lots of uncles here in the Bay Area but that they were all assholes so he's been managing on his own, working under the table and burning through his savings account. Recently, he was offered a computer engineering job and so he needed to get a tax ID at the social security office. His visa was running out but he'd applied for political asylum because he most certainly will be killed if he returns to Afghanistan.

I felt for Hamid because I had watched a segment on "60 Minutes" about how all these Iraqis who worked for the Americans were being killed, but were not granted asylum because of some fucked-up vetting process. As if risking their lives, as well as their families', for America hasn't been enough to grant these people some safety.

Anyway, you really meet some interesting people down at the Social Security office.

NY TIMES' VALENCIA ST HIPSTER HANG OUTS...

The New York Times ran an article this past weekend in the travel section about some select restaurants, bars and shops on Valencia Street. I'm no expert, being that I'm past the the hipster age and don't have access to discretionary, hipster money but those in the know think this article was phoned in few years ago and is just plain outdated.

FORGOTTEN FAVOURITES: LUSH

Who could forget Miki Berenyi, the red haired, English born, half-Japanese, half-Hungarian lead singer from Lush, one of the most underrated UK bands of the 1990s? The first track I heard from them was "Deluxe", which San Francisco's Live 105 played in their hit or miss rotation. They started out as a shoegaze band...you know... shoegazers - the sort of introspective and withdrawn folks who never look up when they walk down the street, staring at their own shoes instead. Shoegazers...get it? By 1996, they had evolved into a solid 90s britpop group. Things seemed to being going great until drummer, Chris Acland, hanged himself in 1996. Everything fell apart soon after and the world of music moved on.

I saw them perform live at a free concert sponsored by Live 105 at Union Square sometime in 1992 or 1993- I can't remember exactly. The show was great and their sound matched their studio recordings. Now in the past, it's been unfairly alleged that the Güero possesses an unhealthy Asian fetish , as well as an English fetish(Anglophilia), but I must say that I had no idea Ms. Berenyi was half Asian until I saw them in concert. So please don't hate and think I'm dusting off this defunct band due to some sick and twisted perversions that I may or may have. It's also interesting to note that Miki Berenyi used to date that cat from Weezer, Matt Sharp. Weezer released a track called "El Scorcho" which is said to be have written about her. The lyrics includes the line:

"Goddamn you half-Japanese girls Do it to me every time..."

Guitarist, Emma Anderson was no slouch herself and was responsible for composing most of their songs. Lush's guitars had a very dreamy and atmospheric sound that remained distinct even after they ventured into a more melodic style, that marked their end. So judge for yourself...

Lush - De-luxe (1990)

Lush - Hypocrite (1994)

Lush - Single Girl (1996)

SAN FRANCISCO NUTTERS

So I was checking out the local blog, Mission Mission, one of few blogs that covers the Mission District here in SF, when I ran across a post about this insane Bible thumper who I actually had the misfortune of meeting last summer on Muni. The comments following the post indicate that he is quite prolific, annoying and disturbing everyone in his path.

Last summer, I was on the 48 with my 7 year old son coming home from West Portal. When we arrived at 24th and Mission St, this raving lunatic steps on the bus yelling at the top of his lungs "Ban the Koran! Ban the Buddha! You better read the Bible! Ban that Abortion" etc, etc. Well he sat down and didn't stop and then....well...you can read my comments at the end of the post here.

PERSONALLY SERVING YOU SINCE 1989...

Today, while moving boxes about in my old man's garage , I found my old smock and tie from Safeway from back in the day. There it was, hung on the wall pretty much exactly where I left back in late November of 1994. A box cutter, a blue Bic pen, and a pack of matches were still in the pocket. A few days after that, I drove to LA and now... here I am...

BONEHEAD MOVES...

These last few days have been rough. While at the beach, I forgot I had on my glasses and a fucking tidal wave( yes I am exaggerating) came up behind me and knocked them off in the water! My specs were instantly lost at sea. If you know me, you know I am as blind as shit. My nearsightedness and astigmatisms make the world look like a bad impressionist painting. I can't do much without my vision. I can't use the computer, drive, watch TV, cook, or really do anything. The next day I went and ordered some new glasses...but it's going to be few days before I get them. I don't know why they say "same day lenses"...because that's only if you want a crap pair of glasses.

Now, I just have one pair of contact lenses they gave me. Cost to replace glasses:$500. Yeah...and that was with the lenses being 50 percent off. Ridiculous. I might as well have waited and went to Costco. It's a lot to pay when you have no job and no income.
And then...oh god....and then... it's not easy for me but...but I had to cancel my directv. Oh how it kills me. No more TiVO! Oh...the pain...the pain...

IT ALL WORKED OUT...

Today things went OK. One down and one to go. Celebrated with a little carne asada bbq at home.

TODAY IS A BIG DEAL...

Today is a scary day for the güero. Don't want to say to say more than that. I'll be back later today...I hope.

-güero